How long does it take to change an unhealthy habit, or develop a new healthy one from scratch? Some people say it takes 21 days. Others say it takes 3 months. According to research, the answer probably varies depending on what you’re doing. However long it takes, habits are important, and they tend to be more easily formed when we’re young. William James, the famous 19th-century psychologist, suggested that habits formed in youth profoundly influence our thoughts, feelings, and actions throughout the remainder of our lives.
Simple actions, like drinking a glass of water when you wake up in the morning, may become fully habitual (as much as they ever are) within 21 days. For other activities, like waking up earlier to exercise, recent studies suggest that it takes around 66 days to make that new activity habitual. Of course, this doesn't mean that after 66 days waking up early becomes effortless, just that it's as easy to continue as it ever will be.
Decades ago, scientists believed that after a certain age our brains lost the ability to develop new connections and pathways. Recent studies, however, have shown that our brains retain the ability to change and develop new habits at any age. This changeable nature of the brain is called plasticity.
Even so, there are times when unhealthy habits can seem almost impossible to break. How come? And what can we do to overcome them?
The answer, I would suggest, is found in the nature of attachment. Attachment refers not just to desire and emotion but to deeper issues, like identity. When we identify with the way a habit makes us feel, rather than of just observing the feeling as something we experience, it is harder to change that habit. Conversely, by dis-identifying with the feeling (it is not me, but mine) we free ourselves to react differently.
For example- smoking is a habit that most people intellectually understand to be unhealthy, and perhaps also unattractive and inconvenient. But thinking those things doesn’t make it easy to quit. There are physical and emotional feelings that make it difficult; the lack of satisfaction, the irritation of no longer feeding the addiction. And yet, we know that many people have overcome these challenges and succeeded in quitting.
What matters is, with what kind of identity do we observe these feelings? Is my sense of ‘me’ defined by strong physical and emotional attachments, and so highly influenced by physical and emotional stimulants? Or is ‘me’ something beyond feelings, unaltered by physical and emotional changes?
This is where meditation and visualization can play an important role in changing a habit. When you really want to change, start by changing the picture of who you are. Take the time to imagine it. Focus on it, stay with it and feel it. Allow yourself to discover the joy, peace, or satisfaction in this new identity. If you can get familiar with enjoying your new identity, you’ve made a good start on changing that habit.
They say that persistence is the key to success, so committing to your goal is important. When you make commitments and announce them to yourself and others, you are more likely to keep going towards your goal. Yes, it can be embarrassing when things don't work out. But the embarrassment of facing a moment of failure is a small price to pay for the opportunity to change an unhealthy habit for the rest of your life.
As you visualize your new identity, with new habits, feelings and abilities, start to imagine the steps you’ll take to get there. How long will it take to achieve your goals? 3 Months? 6 Months? A year or more? Be patient and allow yourself to enjoy the journey. Even if your goal is to change something simple, at least 21 days will probably be required. And don’t forget to let other people know about your plans, even if it’s intimidating at first. Whether you tell friends and family or you get more professional support, it helps to know that other people are aware of your efforts and want you to succeed.
If you'd like to learn more about the power of visualization and changing habits, Body & Brain Centers offer powerful programs in meditation and mindfulness to help you achieve your goals. To get started, please visit www.bodynbrain.com to schedule a private introductory session or trial class.